I'll Tell You What I Do Know, Ricky

by Sean Ennis

 

No luck taking her shirt off
while she's smoking a cigarette.

I tried it once, Ricky,
and you just have to wait it out.

If you do get it off, don't get sad
when she calls you Scott

because she still has feelings for him
and it probably just slipped out.

A good way to ruin dinner
is to ask who the fuck Scott is

because honestly, Ricky, you don't
want to know and she will tell you.

If her friends throw beer caps
at you, just get out of their way,

even though it hurts when they say
they thought you'd be cooler. They're just drunk.

If her old goateed boyfriend threatens you
be as flattered as you can

without getting punched. Don't grow a goatee
and don't ask if that goon was Scott.

If her firefighter dad is drunk
and wants to slow dance with you

at her cousin's wedding, do it
because after that, you're in.

If her Lutheran pastor dad suggests you sleep
on the couch, and kisses her

more than you do, don't sneak up to her room
even if she calls to you down the steps,

sexy in her childhood pajamas,
because if he found you, it would kill him.

If her dad is dead
be good to her and good luck.

And no matter what, Ricky,
know-and I'm telling you this

because you're my best friend,
and heard these stories before

and we laughed but it's not funny-
no matter what, you and her

are this close.

 

© 2006 Sean Ennis

Sean Ennis is a Philadelphia, PA native and now an instructor at the University of Mississippi. His work has appeared in The Greensboro Review, River City, Swink, The Mississippi Review, and The Best New American Voices 2006 anthology.